Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
