so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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