My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
