I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
