And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
