the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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