It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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