her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize