I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize