Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
