If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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