If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
