Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
