I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
