Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize