So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
