my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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