I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize