her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
