shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
