just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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