capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize