She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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