Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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