Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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