Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
NoShamevember. You game?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
