Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
