So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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