Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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