Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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