Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
