I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
