why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
