Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
