I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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