You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
