his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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