I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She bit a glass in half.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
