she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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