You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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