Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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