She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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