I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
