You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
