I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize