uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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