no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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