I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize