Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
