Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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