so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
