just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Little spoons don't ask big questions
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
