What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
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I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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