dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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