State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
