remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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