Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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