I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
