gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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