hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
