I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize