I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
