I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
