I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
